Lately, i've been going back and forth with these emotions. Oddly enough i'm done with giving people second chances when it comes to relationships, unless they REALLY prove to me they deserve it. He never did, and i let him RIGHT back in, just to have it feel like i was fighting to make it work and he wasn't; its over, and it feels SO RIGHT. However, i can't seem to just not feel as if he blames me for this second time not being "perfect." i think he holds some spite towards me, and just makes me feel like shit for living my life. I've tried for about 2/3 weeks to be his friend, and im done. I'm not trying anymore, and i couldn't be happier that i'm not. :]
New guys; are way better. not dating people is; amazing. its like with the label comes the stress. I'd seriously much rather have it this way than any other way for sure. I need to get my car back, and go to fields, and just be free again - for a while. I miss that feeling, i miss my OLD friends, and i know i fucked up by not keeping in-touch with them :/. However my new friends are pretty amazing, nothing will be the same though.